♪ ♫ ♪ 往事只能回味 ♪ ♫ ♪

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

mama has went up peacefully with the Lord...

RIP Grandma...
you do not need to suffer anymore...
you do not need to leave any worries behind...

we grandchildren are all grown up.
we will take good care of our parents.....

once again,
we love and miss you deeply.

@ 7:24 PM

today had only EFW lesson which ends at 12pm.

den while leaving the sch.
mum called...

history repeated like on monday....
so cabbed down to NUH again.....

mama(grandma)'s condition worsen.....
she's still struggling, trying to hang on there....

den I recalled those childhood days~

***************************************************************

seriously, I am not a nice granddaughter.......

IF, really IF time is able to turn back......

I don want my parents to settle me down with my own room so early.
like sec 1 or 2...
maybe not even until now...

I don mind sharing room with mama...
at least if I am sad, I will have someone to confide with.
she's the one who dotes me most when I was a kid.

I really regretted for occupying her room at the old house.
that she have to move in to my aunt's place.
if not, I will still be spending most of my times with her now.
I feel so lousy and sorry abt that....

like when I quarreled with my brother...
she will tell him off....
at that time we were still kids...

I am so bless she was not a conventional type person.
who dotes male den female more.

I miss those days she sings "lullaby" in cantonese to me.
I miss those days she kept chasing after me for my 3 meals....
I miss those days she brings me out along whenever she goes.
like relatives' house and Chinatown.......

sorry I will end here.

the more I type, tears are rolling down.

@ 4:45 PM

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

hi.

grandma's condition seems to be better now...
heard from mum.
thanks god.

everything's fine for the moment.

but I am still not.

since ytd upon hearing the frequency beep beep sound at the ICU...
I am becoming more timid liao le.

think I really don fit to be an adult yet.
I am still not brave enough.

like now.......
how I wish my brother faster come back.
I am crying.....

cos I am now alone at home.
and outside having heavy rain plus storm.

hais......

wad's happening to me mans.........

@ 6:59 PM

Monday, November 16, 2009

today after school.....

while waiting for #76 at yck inter...
mum called.

rushed down to NUH Emergency by cab.

my beloved mama(grandma in cantonese).......
who took care of me.....
who sing songs to me.......
who sleeps with me.......
who took care of my 3 meals........
who plays with me.......
while I was still a kid.......

is now in a critical condition.
doctor tell us to get prepare for the worse.

been to the ICU just now with my paternal family.

den realised I am still not fit to be an adult........
I am so scared hearing the frequency beep beep sound.
that I wanna cover my ears so badly.
exactly like wad I always see on TV.

hais.....

mama, pls hang on there.........
I love u deeply.........
I am so bless to have u as my grandma......
I am so bless u are not the conventional type.
who dotes male more den female.......
thanks for ur care when I was a kid.

hang on there pls..............

@ 11:02 PM

Sunday, November 15, 2009

met hui yun for study session today.
at tiong bahru de coffee bean suggested by her.
not me hors...
cos she lives nearby....

hmms...
den tried to study MacroE.
but cannot concentrate.

due to some reasons......
think I am not gg TB anymore to study le.
many thoughts in my mind.

den halfway through...
I went to walkwalk......

walked to the same old usual place.......
kinda random and sad thoughts I had lah...

like when I see the dustbin at the gate.......
I think of the guys smoking.....

I see the library...
I think of those project days~

I see the whole schools.....
I think of all the tedious SHITs I hab been through.........

everything seems to like happened just ytd only~

I also donno why I feel so nostalgic abt dis place.
maybe becos I hab spent most of my time at thr.....
throughout the whole of 2008 last year....
so have some sort of feelings for tt place........

@ 11:46 PM

last nite I had a sad dream that I cried in my sleep :(

a dream tt got something to do with the one I had few days ago.

seriously speaking......
those days were like a roller-coaster for me......
maybe it has officially become a nitemare for me.

but 1 thing I can't forget...
is maybe the pubbing session....
my 1st sip of chivas......
the dicey game....

I noe it was really random back den.
but it was my 1st pubbing session I hab been to.

@ 10:21 AM

dis weekends.....

shall be named by "Marketing Individual Project" weekends...

almost done....

tried my best liao.....
same old one.
no A ok.
pass will do :)

den brain cells like drying up.....
still early.
Statistics Project.
MacroE Project.
Marketing Group Project.
Computer Project.
English Project.
Accountancy lucky no Project.

P.S: I miss Janel girl girl..... whahahahas

@ 1:42 AM

Thursday, November 12, 2009

hihi.

today went to sch.

meet up with stats project members for discussion.

nvr go for marketing lecture.....
opps.

den trained down to amk meet cai ting.
dropped by at gwen's place which is at amk nearby.

finally get to see gwen and her baby janel today~!
I shan't mention much.
but I shall upload some pics here~!

ohmygeez.
Janel is just soooooooooo cute to the max~~~
hahahas.

cai ting n janel =)

janel n me~! ^^

milk time for janel~!
gwen's feeding her~ heehee

Haha. CUTE right?

@ 7:39 PM

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I am fucking so being bothered by the dream I had.

I need to talk to someone who has been through all the shit with me =(

the dream seems so real~

I can't differentiate dream n reality now.

seriously, did I really attained something?

@ 10:35 PM

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I thought the cert doesn't matter much to me.

but in fact it does.

I jus recall morning 5:30AM...
I woke up finding myself crying.

oh.. I had a bad bad dream :(

I dreamt that I was "re-examing" Marketing.
den after the paper...
someone told me that I got to re-module.
for e-commerce and organisational behaviour.....

and before I know what is going to happen next...
I gotta feeling, that tonite's gonna be a good nite
my handphone alarm rang. (black eye peas)
5:30AM -.-"

Lols.
I donno why I dreamt of the sch last nite.....

but den I have really went through all the shit in REALITY....
thinking if sld I go thr to get the cert next week.....
before it really turns into a dream....

eh but no.....
think I want to attend the graduation ceremony if thr's any.
I scared I will dropout from poly :(

@ 11:52 PM

Monday, November 9, 2009

nth much today.

Joke of the day: Dr Badri loves drawing graffiti -.-

I am havin a bad migraine :(

I donno if I hab inherited from my mum or my aunt~

or perhaps the older a person like ME is...
the more migraine I will hab every month I "strike lottery"......

I am thinking sld I skip sch tmr~
since computer access is not so tedious as HTML......

@ 7:39 PM

Sunday, November 8, 2009

hi......

spent my day at Esplanade today~
CE orchestra junior hui yun came to join me.
for study session............

studied until the library close like ard 8:30pm.
lols.

den went to marina sq de MAC for dinner...
woah~!
she also another one so into the Monopoly stickers -.-"

hmms...
as we chatted along......
realised that whenever we chatted abt CO....
I think my enthusiastic level is getting lower.....

normally I will like ask...
who's playing Pipa, or Pipa got how many pple etc.
but today I don't......

I know is sad to announce dis.
but I shan't deny anymore~

I think I got no more interest in Chinese Orchestra le.

even poly de I also nvr join.
thanks to my timetable.
heard that pluck strings sectional practise is on tues or thurs.
but whenever I think of the 2 days end so late like 4 or 5 plus...
I don think I got the energy to really learn Pipa anymore~

and I donno if sld I thanks to Diploma.
for causing me to become another person.
another person who's finally sick n tired of CO ardy.....
be it sec sch or CE.......

but I will still catch up with any concerts if there's any.
hahas.
27 Dec will go Esplanade for Beautiful Sunday's.
by People Association Youth Chinese Orchestra~
and it's free :)

@ 12:05 AM

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Janel is so sweet n such a cutie~! ^^

thanks rachel for sending me a photo of her...

wanna visit Gwen n Janel asap~
when will I be done with all the never ending tutorials......
hais......

seeing a baby really makes my day~
smiles x 589373974739749 :):):):):):)

@ 9:45 PM

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

YoZ~!

received text from rachel in the afternoon.

wanna congratz to Gwen & her husband.
for the arrival of their baby daughter, Janel~!
feel so happy for them~
will visit them in dec when I am free :)

*****************************************************************

guess dis part gonna be random.....

think I miss studying with them again....
I tried not to think abt it......
but sometimes I just couldn't control......
really.....
though I noe them well through mugging for exams.....

I don like dis feeling.....
dis feeling is damn lousy....

haiz......

maybe I shouldn't have know them so well.....
or maybe they shouldn't have be so nice to me....
really.....

just to think of that nite study until no bus go home....
den the cab fare.....
and even my own brother also nvr be "that" nice to me.....
I really can't stop thinking abt it.......

haiz.......

@ 7:29 PM

Hi.
now in sch.

I wanted so badly for EFW lesson to end =(

I am dying =(

going to the airport to study ltr.
shan't take every wednesday for granted.
cos I know if I go home I sure sleep..............

@ 10:12 AM